1) “So how were you able to pay for that?”

When someone goes straight to your wallet without congratulating you first, they’re not trying to understand you: they’re trying to make you uncomfortable. The question shifts the focus from the achievement to the money, as if you have to explain why you deserve to enjoy yourself. The trap is to make you go from celebrating to defending yourself.

Firm response: “I worked for it.”

Short, calm, and without details. Your finances are your own business.

2) “Do you really think that’s a good idea?”

It appears just when you’re excited about a project or a change. There’s no interest in your plan or concrete support; just a seed of doubt. It’s not prudence: it’s projected fear of others.

Firm response: “Yes, I thought about it, and I’m going to do it.”

No debate. Your decisions don’t need permission.

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